So she’s now Dame Helen Lydia Mironoff, HWoF? That’s a mouthful.

Helen Mirren is officially the oldest woman in the world that you’re allowed to want to sleep with. Which is nice. She’s also indisputably one of the finest actors of her generation, which is nicer. But did you know that she’s descended from Russian nobility? No, you didn’t. Sounds like somebody needs an ice cold Cheat Sheet…

A boy’s best friend is his Mirren…

Love Ranch, starring Helen Mirren as a 1970s brothel-keeper, has had its UK run axed after flopping in the States.

Just when we thought the Expendables series couldn’t get any better, word has reached us that producer Adi Shankar has plans to make an all-female version of action ensemble. Director of the sequel, Simon West has stated that he is fully on board with the idea (WHO WOULDN’T BE?) and would like to see a line-up involving the likes of Angelina Jolie, Cameron Diaz, Milla Jovovich, Helen Mirren and Jamie Lee Curtis. We can see the appeal of those casting choices but here at BFF (which otherwise stands for Best For Females) we’ve dreamed up a list with a little more bite. So here it is chaps and chapettes: the top ten ovarylicious casting choices for an all-female Expendables. WARNING: Due to her recent involvement in the unforgivable Red Lights, Sigourney Weaver has been banned from this list.

Put in a flash forward, Shane, then Helen Mirren can be in it too!

LIAM NEESON IS A PROPER ACTOR, aint he? We know it, we know it in our heart of hearts. And yet, if we’re honest, it’s been a long road since the jolly old days of Schindler’s List. Can we forgive an Irish scamp The Next Three Days? Wrath Of The Titans? Attack Of The Clones? And more importantly, d’ya think Helen Mirren ever got over him dumping her? Oh that’s right, we’re getting to the proper stuff, it must be CHEAT SHEET O’CLOCK.

Screened by UK Jewish Film a year after it was the toast of the charity’s annual Film Festival, The Debt is a challenging and unconventional thriller which combines dizzying timelines and fine performances to electrifying effect. And seriously, when else are you going to get to see Helen Mirren practicing Krav Maga?

What is it that makes Colin Firth, Helen Mirren and Judi Dench so good at playing our monarchs of old? Is it maturity, is it talent or is it just that they all have a crown fetish? From the Sixteenth Century up to the present day, many actors have tried to play royalty, and few have succeeded. Those that have are celebrated here.

Bruce Willis. Morgan Freeman. John Malkovich. Dame Helen Mirren. These are hefty names. It might seem reasonable to assume that a film capable of bringing them together would be pretty bloody special, mightn’t it? Unfortunately, it seems that all it takes is a production company with very deep pockets. Seeing Red is a truly unhappy experience which you are advised to avoid.