Ben Kingsley to play ‘Pharaoh’ in Night at the Musem 3

For some reason, Night at the Museum 3 is being made. I didn’t see Night at the Museum 2 but I saw the first one and thought it was largely fine, but then again I also remember enjoying Oasis’ Roll With It when it came out, which even Noel Gallagher calls “a throwaway song” now. The moral is, we all make mistakes, and Sir Ben Kingsley is about to make a doozy, having signed up to the film.

You feel sorry for Ben. In recent years he’s taken on the role of a Dad going through a mid-life crisis because his kids are reminding him of being young. He’s been in The Dictator, Ender’s Game, Iron Man 3 and now this – I bet every time he books these parts he comes home to talk to his young daughter (does he have a young daughter? who cares) and goes “You’ll never guess what Daddy’s going to be doing next – you’ll be very excited at what he’s just turned down Sexy Beast 2: Sexier Than Ever for.”

But she’s never excited. We’re never excited. We’re not excited about this Ben. This is going to be balls and you’re going to embarass yourself in front of Ben Stiller, and have to sit next to Rebel “Not Funny Never Funny” Wilson in junket interviews and Ricky Gervais will ask you to be in the next show he’s writing and before you’ve even thought about it you’ll say “Yes Ricky, that sounds funny, is it still that one in the office?”

And everyone will laugh at you Ben, and you won’t know why they’re laughing, and so you’ll laugh along. But inside you’re crying.

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