Jurassic Park IV still stuck in amber

There have been times over the past few years when it’s felt like we do nothing so often as try to get our heads around Jurassic Park IV. It’s going to star Keira Knightley. It’ll feature dinosaur-human hybrids. It’ll be set on the moon amidst a war between Cylons and Daleks and Drs Alan Grant and Ian Malcolm will finally confess their love and make the hell out.

It’s that movie no one knows whether to anticipate in dread or excitement and now we’re going to have to not know that a little while longer. It was set to begin shooting this June for release a year later but studio Universal just isn’t darn ready yet. Or as the official statement puts it, they need to give everyone “adequate time to bring audiences the best possible version of the fourth installment in Universal’s beloved franchise”. ADEQUATE TIME? It’s been TWELVE YEARS ALREADY.

Corralling the ill-advisedly resurrected dinosaurs this time will be Colin Trevorrow, last seen whisking people back in time in Safety Not Guaranteed. Will he be able to bring a sense of whimsy to the proceedings while handling the big budget demands of giant carnivorous reptiles? Will the recent new discoveries of dinosaur feathers change the design? Will a raptor switch sides to fight with the humans?

IT’LL BE AGES TILL WE KNOW.

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