Do you want to be repulsed? Do you want to be disgusted? Do you want to be horrified? If so, then this film is not for you. Because what The Human Centipede 2 actually is, is REALLY, REALLY DULL.

Even as a hardened horror fan, I sat down to watch The Human Centipede with a therapist on speed dial. I need not have worried. Yes, the film is disturbing, but ultimately The Human Centipede is a pretty lifeless creature, that neither makes you think, fear or even laugh enough for it to gain the cult status it so clearly craves.