Jim Carrey does his best to try something new, simply regurgitates Me, Myself and Irene instead

Our newest and goriest column continues with the latest clotted, coagulating thoughts to drip from Duncan Vicat-Brown’s mangled fingertips. This week, he’s heading back into the Abattoir to take a look at the best jump scenes in horror history…

Pedro Almodóvar’s new film Los Amantes Pasajeros, or I’m So Excited to us English-speaking jerks, is officially out in cinemas everyone! It’s obviously going to be totally weird because it’s by Pedro Almodóvar. Did you guys see that movie, The Skin I Live In? WHAT WAS THAT? Anyway, this film is more or less The Skin I Live In On a Plane. More importantly, though, the film shares its English title with a very famous song by The Pointer Sisters, which got us thinking: what other films out there have famous songs for titles? Turns out, loads. Because nothing in this wretched world is original.

Great little sneak peek!

According to statistics, you guys just can’t get enough of scaring yourselves shitless. Always keen to please, us lovely folks at BFF have collaborated a Top 10 list of the best horror films we think will be worth crapping your pants for this year. And with Texas Chainsaw 3D thoroughly shoved under the carpet forever, we can start with some decent horrors. Sadly, Jesus Hates Zombies didn’t make the cutting. So what did?

Being telekinetic doesn’t make you punctual.

Assuming the Mayans don’t bring their A-game and take out the entire world by New Year’s Eve (not likely; one thing we know about Mayans is they’re hella lazy), it will soon be 2013. And you know what that means – LOADS of shiny new 2013 films! We’ve trawled the Internet to find the Hollywood big-hitters most likely to get us going in what future generations will probably remember as 4346 in the Korean calendar. Depending on, you know, factors.

Rumors claim that Jansson may yet reprise her role as sexy smouldering psychic Jean Grey

But then again he might not.

And you thought Hit-Girl was scary.