Fine, yes. For a music video. Not in real life…

The wacky duo get their very own official biopic. Aww.

It’s not Bruce Willis, unfortunately. But you remember, Brad, right?

What if the snowmen come for you in the night? Do you have a plan ready? Weapons? WHERE WILL THE HAIRDRYER BE WHEN YOU NEED IT? Our Advent calendar should get you adequately freaked out:

We all love a good puppeteering. From blossoming love between Kermit and Miss Piggy to the Alpine goat dance in The Sound of Music, puppets are great. But take away the romance and the joyful singing and replace it with murder and mystery and you’ve got yourself the dark creation of the Jim Henson Company, Happytime Murders. Who could be happy murdering puppets? It’s sick.

Iggy Pop. You may know him as the lead singer of The Stooges, David Bowies’s Berlin boy, or the rather frightening topless puppet from the swiftcover car insurance adverts. What a life he’s had! Which makes it all the more of a shame that he has now pulled the plug on a film biopic. Why, Iggy, why?

The Runaways were the goddesses of the Riot Grrrl movement, and charting their extraordinary journey from suburban insignificance to global stardom was always going to be a challenge. Happily, this sensitively crafted and superbly cast film more than does justice to their extraordinary legacy.

Once you find what it is you’re good at then just go with that, right? There’s no need to try your hand at anything else. Take the warblers and crooners for example; mainly the ones that sing about love, relationships and all that romantic crap. They should just stick to their day jobs. There’s absolutely no need for them to attempt a career in acting because quite frankly, it’s embarrassing for everyone.

3D films – exciting big screen trend or pointless use of technology? This week’s Face/Off swings the spotlight on this re-emerging technique currently embarrassing moviegoers at a cinema near you. Whack on your crazy specs and get ready for one crazy ride as we debate the ins, outs and “Ooh, it’s going to touch my face!”s of 3D.

In this week’s Face/Off, we turn our attention to Christmas films. Classic feelgood fare or cynical attempt to convert a religious holiday into sweet sweet cash? Our dedicated team of writers take up the stance: optimism vs. pessimism, festive joy vs. humbuggery, Santa vs… well, Satan, we guess.