Oh hi, Tarsem Singh. Ever heard of Icarus? Yeah, he was the son of Daedalus, escaped from Crete with wings made of wax, all that. Dead? Yeah, he’s dead – flew too close to the sun, arrogant little tit. Hubristic? Yeah, I suppose he was – still, at least he didn’t have the gall to make Immortals. Did he, Tarsem Singh? DID HE?

SO MANY SWORDS

43 years on from Charlton Heston’s first encounter with a society of talking apes, this origin story finally explains exactly why monkeys started wearing helmets. And what a story it is. Unknown director Rupert Wyatt has effortlessly gold-plated his CV with this intelligent and engaging blockbuster, which may well see Andy Serkis win the first ever Oscar awarded for a motion capture performance. A triumph.

It’s basically a zombie movie… with monkeys.

Rubina Ali, who played the youngest version of Latika in Slumdog Millionaire, has lost her home in a Mumbai slum fire.

Continuing his increasingly long-standing tradition of making films just good enough to remind you how much better they could have been, Woody Allen’s 47th outing as a writer and 44th as a director is quirky and charming – it’s a shame that a slew of solid performances aren’t enough to disguise its essential emptiness.

The first photograph to emerge from the film set of Rise of the Apes has made its way online.