Ah, Jim Carrey. It seems as if everyone who is anyone has an opinion on this funnyman of big budget flicks – whether you adore his early works and abhore Mr Popper’s Penguins, prefer him to stick to comedy and steer clear of serious dramas (hello Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind) or simply want to see him dress up in a funny costume, it’s hard not to have an opinion about good old Jim. So, with THAT in the forefront of our minds, Sarah and Nina have launched into an almighty row…

Parker isn’t entertainingly bad like Crank or The Transporter 1 through 3. It’s just bad. Bad acting, bad plot, bad villains, bad heroes, and a bad-ass car.

Jason Statham is made of rage and speaks like he’s reading the instruction manual for setting up a Freeview box. Naturally neither of these things elevate Parker to the lofty heights of, say, The Mechanic; and make for the most mind-numbing 118 minutes of your life that you will never get back.

Parker is out soon, and if you’ve seen the trailer/moody-ish poster you’ll know that singer Jennifer Lopez is in it, starring alongside rent-a-hardman Jason Statham. This isn’t the first film J-Lo has been in. To be honest, we’re not sure why that keeps happening. And to make things even more dire, Lopez has threatened revealed she would like to take on more acting roles due to her ‘great experience’ working with Statham on set. But Jen’s not the only one who should just slip away quietly back into the recording studio AND STAY THERE.

Ben Affleck is the name on everybody’s lips this week after the phenomenal success of Argo at the 85th Academy Awards. But what do you really know about the critically acclaimed director? Not a lot past that scathing Team America song, we’ll bet…

THINK ON YOUR SINS, Twilight fans.

Can you believe that there’s only 6 days until Christmas!? Let us commiserate at the implacable march of time by considering our top 8 maids a-milking. There’s a lot of fertile subject matter here, but it’s become a little tribute to some of the most important themes of Christmas – family, togetherness, the sacrifices of a loving mother, baby Jesus and… um… Joe Pesci? Whatever. Milky maids. Let’s do it.

The trailer for Jason Statham as psychotic gangster Parker breaks no new ground, but what do we care? We’re philistines. Just give us more Statham!

Yep, it’s another one of those films where very clean celebrities pretend to have names like “Holly” and “Gary” and there’s just loads of them, loads of them scuttling around like glowing, plastic noise-rats shouting “UH OH! BABIES!” and it’s funny until it’s not and then it is again because sad emotions only last as long as a scene of about four minutes, and then it’s BACK TO CHRIS ROCK DOING HIS JOKES and people in bikinis and Jennifer Lopez realising stuff and then crying so gently. Just call it Middle Class Heteros Have Kids (You Don’t Even Get To See Them Shag), and be done with it.

“Mononymous?” we hear you cry, “What the deuce does that mean?” Don’t worry. Let us explain. Martin Scorsese’s Hugo is out today and in order to celebrate this momentous occasion, we have decided to prepare for you a list of the top ten films with titles that are a single name. Apparently, “mononymous” means this, thus we bring you the Top Ten Mononymous Film Titles.

It’s that time of the week again; that ‘we all want to get home but we’ve agreed to write one of these every Friday – quick, someone pop to the shop for some vitriol and poorly conceived opinions!’ time of the week. Facing off this week are the two GIANTS of Best For Film, and they’re tackling perhaps the most pertinent issue of all: was Two Weeks Notice any good?